Romance: Sweet Love

Very true. Our socity is almost obsessed with the concept of romantic love. Tons of music and movies focus on the subject. No wonder people don't feel complete unless they're in a relationship- there's so much pressure to be on one. I mean, you can't possible be happy single! Wow, this really hits home. I have a history of dating jerks, but just am always in a relationship it seems. I like the companionship and closeness with someone more than anything. I let them come after me because there's always someone there and it's just easier that way. To think of it as buying a car seems too easy. Emotions get involved too much to think that objectively. I disagree with her about men only caring about sex because society pressures them to be that way. I mean yes, to a certain extent, this is probably true, but isn't a large part of it ut due to their biological programming to reproduce as much as possible? Interesting. Very different assessment of love than I've ever heard!

Boys with Be Boys and Girls will Not

- Maybe men are threatened by women athletes because they are stronger than them probably!
- In what sports do women routinely defeat men? This is a bit shocking!
- Her bit about men and pro-football is kind of comical! It's so true though!
- This is why I don't care much about watching or playing sports. I'm not that competitive. Wow, interesting comparison about what women vs. men are better at.
- I didn't know women were better at long-distance swimming! Very cool! Also, didn't know that we sweat better. I wonder why.
- Instead of focusing so much on differences between men and women, why can't we just look at successes from an equal/neutral stand point? It's always about this battles of the sexes! There are more differences within sexes than between them! - Amazing essay!

The Social Construction of Gender

- When people break what is socially expected in interaction, it's very uncomfortable. I knew a guy one time who never broke eye contact with you and it felt like he was invading your personal space.
- I don't really think that people in authority punish those who break gender-appropriate behavior unless you're in a oppressed country like Afghanistan. I think it's more punished by peers and regular people by taunting or mocking them. This enforces that this behavior is unacceptable in their society.
- So she's arguing that men are dominant simply because of social history? Still, how can we break hundreds (thousands?) of years of this trend? Was there ever a society not like that that we could study as an example to follow?

Two Sexes are Not Enough

- Aren't people who have both/neither kinds of genitalia a genetic mistake? Like there are XXY or XYY chromosomes? Or something didn't develop properly during development. This is different from species who can be both sexes or switch sexes interchangeably, which is natural because they evolved that way for survival purposes. - I agree that they shouldn't perform surgeries to "correct" babies that are not completely one sex or the other simply because this does do potentially emotional harm as the child reaches sexual maturity. Let the child decide what they want to do once they are old enough to make that kind of decision for themselves.
- And I guess just raise them whatever gender the doctor thinks they are, while trying not to push either one on the child, but making it up to them what they want to do. For example, go to dance practice or football practice? Want a doll or a truck for Christmas? - When I was little, I didn't really discriminate between what gender I was and my parents didn't push either way much. I loved to play Barbies, but was often the man (mainly because my older sister made me). I also loved playing with toy cars and trucks too. I loved fantasy adventure book like "Castle in the Attic" and "Indian in the Cupboard" which were mostly about boys. For Halloween one year, I was a football player. My dad actually encouraged me to join the football team, but I had no interest. When I joined band, I decided to play percussion (normally a boy instrument). I did lean toward the keyboard instruments though after a while (more feminine) but mainly because of my background in piano. I never allowed myself to be constrained by gender norms growing up. I wore shorts under my dresses so I could play on the playground and I had contests of strength with my girl friends. In 1st grade, I commonly wrestled a boy at recess that I didn't like. My parents let me be however I wanted. They even let me cut my hair short when I asked, though my sister teased me that I looked like a boy. I hated puberty and used to pray for tiny breasts. I am now quite feminine, mainly because of gender norms maybe, but I am not unhappy. I have succumbed to many gender norms with being unhappy with my body. I went through an eating disorder that I still deal with and even took breast enhancement pills. My refusal to let gender norms shape who I am though helps me fight these battles with my body. It is hard to not succumb sometimes. I have joined a sorority, but often feel like an outsider. I had mostly guy friends in high school, but now not many because things often turn sexual when I have relationships with men. I just got a job on campus with composting. It requires me wear gloves and steel-toed boots. My boyfriend, who is conservative, doesn't think I will be able to handle the job. I haven't started it yet, but will not give up because I want to prove it to him that I can. I like to play cards (poker, Euchre), but mostly guys play and I often feel a strong sense of aggression from them. They make comments about playing with a girl and I feel unwelcome when I play and often become intimidated by them and uncomfortable. I really resent it, but am not assertive enough to play equally against the, especially because I'm always outnumbered.

Tired of Playing Monopoly

- I thought we had a class system in the US. We just say that it's not determined by the class you were born into and that you can move up or down.

- Class does affect our everyday lives, as she explains. I have this quote that I like: "It's not shameful to be poor, but it is shameful to be dirty." Basically, it seems that many poor people are very dirty as well. It doesn't have to be that way. Soap is cheap.

- This makes me think of that old TV show, the Beverly Hillbillies where the poor, white trash family hits oil and becomes rich. The joke is that yes, they have lots of money now, but they're still white trash.

Something About the Subject Makes it Hard to Name

- This is like, if you are white, you are automatically racist, even if it's completely unintentional. No matter what, you're screwed. I disagree with this. I mean, if we don't take an active stance against it, that makes us racist?

- I agree that expecting all ethnicities to speak English is a form of racism. I never really thought of it that way, but it is.

- This essay I like better because she actually gives you ways that you can decrease racism.

White Privelage & Male Privelage

- I never really thought that I was "privileged" because I am white. I mean, don't ethnic minorities get preference for colleges and scholarships? They have the advantage there! - Isn't that right somewhat, that men are naturally dominant, at least physically? I mean, you can't really argue that. - hm...yes, I was taught the same way- to be morally neutral or whatever. And I mean, how can we fix treating others as "them" and "us?" Make everything 100% equal? - I mean, some of these privileges can apply to blacks too. Like moving to a good neighborhood you can afford? Many blacks can do this. - Some of these are very good points. None of them have I ever thought of as a "privilege" though. It's a real eye opener! - It's almost like black people have to be paranoid and suspicious of everything! - It would be interesting to see what a guy would write about his male privileges. - She's saying that even white people should work to lessen our unearned privilege? But what are we supposed to do? A lot of things just passively happen to us because that's how society is.